| for bek. yeah. |
[26 Apr 2007|11:33am] |
wow. it has been a long time my friends..
i am doing this for bek. bek is my favorite. yep.
anyway, i'm living in lafayette. if you didn't know that now you do and now you can visit. and you should. william andi love company, yes we do. aaaand we love letting people sleep on our floor. and we love making dinner. err, i love making dinner for my friends. alright i suppose i'm done selling myself/my house.
things are crazy. my mind is crazy. my body is crazy. life is crazy. i'm working on embracing it at this point. i never thought i'd say that i missed high school. or atleast i thought it would take a bit longer. but fuck, duuude. i miss high school. i miss the small amount of responsibility that was required to float through that period of time. but oh well, it is over. now i work. sometimes. i wish william were a millionaire and i never had to work again. damn him. hah. ohhh, piss. i guess i really didn't want to delve into my many issues or what i believe to be "my issues" anyway. so i'll stop now.
g'day friends.
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[18 Aug 2006|10:39pm] |
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sometimes i think i can write well and then that goes away, pretty quickly, and i want to throw away all evidence that i have ever done such a thing... write... blah.
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| cheddar muchies. |
[08 Aug 2006|11:11pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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? |
] |
| [ |
music |
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josh's strum strum strumming. |
] |
summer is coming to an end. booh.
i'm looking for a job. extra booh.
i'm sitting with my two favorite people ever. yay!
i'm excited about ideas and the future. extra yay!
i want to hang out with a whole slough of people so you should all get in touch with me. and you should all just know who you are so i don't have to tell you and stuff. yeah. so do that.
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| piss on this day and piss on this state. |
[24 Jul 2006|10:24am] |
| [ |
mood |
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it's obvious. |
] |
| [ |
music |
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a truck muffler, i'm assuming. |
] |
too much. --- too fast.
i should've known better. --- he should've known.
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| words take too long. |
[18 Jul 2006|11:15am] |
| [ |
mood |
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longing. |
] |
| [ |
music |
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cursive. |
] |
there are so many things that i need it seems unfathomable to want.
the days seem slow and the nights pass much too quickly. it's nearing august and i've decided not to register, i just hope my father will relent. i'm growing up and these decisions are my own. wether they are mistakes or not - i am responsible.
cigarettes seem to console. however, i am unsure as to what. upon my awakening, the day appeared to be somewhat or rather was completely perfect. i have yet to step outside.
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| and this is what's happenin'. |
[11 Jul 2006|09:54pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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tired as all hell. |
] |
i'm clean. minus the hair, of course.
it's still summer and that's fucking awesome. minus the fact that i can't seem to get a job. (please call guys, i'm counting on it)
i've applied everywhere.
things have been crazy lately. i've seen more drama, been a part of more drama than i think ever before and that's lame - ola. 'cause drama is for fags, heh. in a "i like gay people" kind of way, that is.
i went to the newton county fair. i hadn't been in a year or two and it was depressing. all of the good rides are gone. there was absolutely no one there and i all i wanted to do was say "hi" to a few people that i actually did enjoy throughout high school. i'm hoping that if/when i go back at some point this week it will seem more entertaining. atleast the second time around i'm going to get some cheese fries and/or a pretzel with cheese. (my mouth is watering).
i want to hang out with friends this weekend and i do believe that we're going to. that's exciting.
- oh! i moved out of my parents house. (crazy, crazy, crazy - but exciting)
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| uhm - chino. |
[26 Jun 2006|05:06pm] |
so yeah.
things are still exciting but it's like, uhm, things are fogged. that's not the right word at all but, it'll due.
california is pretty freakin' sweet. i'm leaving soon. that seems somewhat lame and a little depressing. i haven't done enough. but, i'm going to come back. sometime. and i want to watch my cartoons. i'm going to a show tonight, i bet that will be pretty bitchin'. i'm counting on a member of blueprint to pick me up, hopefully he does that. otherwise tonight will be real lame, heh. c'mon hayden!
i hope all of you are having a fantastic summer. if you're reading this i probably miss you.
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[12 Jun 2006|09:12am] |
if nothing else, i was on the road.
it was supposed to be so much more.
homehomehomehomehomewillhomehomehomehomehomehomehomehomehomehomehomehomehomehomehomehomehomehomehomehomehomehomehomehomehomehomehome.
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| being social. |
[09 Jun 2006|11:34am] |
| [ |
mood |
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achey. |
] |
| [ |
music |
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something really good. |
] |
for the record.
i am, in fact, having the time of my life.
...it's just that sometimes things seem fucked up.
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[07 Jun 2006|11:38pm] |
so boston has been interesting. we've seen nothing except for some rather confusing roads, the inside of an IHOP and somewhat of a dorm room at berklee. it rained like crazy all day - all fucking day. we had planned on walking around this town all day long and i wanted to buy william a cap or maybe some coffee beans. lewis - the boy we're staying with, he's a nice guy. he blew up some air mattresses and is leaving the light on which means i'm still able to see. i'll tell you what sucks though. i can smoke but there's no ashtray. that's lame as hell. all i want is a parliament. after his pack i'm basically fucked. all i can do is hope for some generosity. i'm sure i'll be able to bum a few smokes every now and then. maybe i'll quit, who knows. i'm not making any promises or anything like that. next time i see someone they'll be like, "didn't you quit."
no.
for the record, i didn't.
people are funny.
i've realized that home doesn't have to have a doorway. it doesn't have to have a bed or a sink or even a stove. a home is simply a place you feel safe, a place you feel secure and at peace. home for me, right now, is my thoughts. i can almost feel the heat coming from him all wrapped up in his arms and i can almost feel his beard against my cheek or tickling my nose.
sometimes - times like this when everyone else is sleeping i get so lost in my thoughts that i swear i have it all figured out. i just wish i trusted myself. i wish i had faith in myself. i think i'm going to start doing that.
well guys i'm going to stay up and wait for william's call but you have a good night.
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| the scent of this candle is a good one. |
[27 May 2006|06:48pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 nostalgic |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
will's strumming |
] |
the tour began on thursday - we leave on monday morning (i think).
- 4 cans of mandarin oranges
- 4 cans of pineapples
- 4 cans of peaches
- 4 cans of spaghettios
- 1 huge jar of pickles
- 24 containers of applesauce
- one box of 'just add water' lemonade
- 12 packages of cheese and crackers
- 12 packages of peanut butter and crackers
- 3 new pairs of underwear
- 1 new pair of "women's boxer shorts"
i smashed my toes and they are bruised because of a stupid, stupid, stupid can of pineapples. freaking ouch. but yeah, i'm real excited and i was real scared but now i'm just real excited.
i'm going.
that's all there is to it.
i'm leaving.
that's it.
will is playing guitar and i'm listening. i'm going to miss this. although it doesn't happen often, i'm going to miss it. i'm going to miss him. my buster. my baby. my william. my will. my william burroughs. my william burroughs hall. my will hall. ugh. (yep, that's the hardest part). i love this boy.
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[25 May 2006|06:47am] |
it's the last day of school.
ever.
i think.
:)
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[16 May 2006|06:40pm] |
i'm content. now i just need to decide if it was the "poor boy" i had at this nice little truck stop, it was a roast beef sandwich and it was rather delish. or if it's the fact that school is about to be over, my car is up and running, my boyfriend is great, we have the cutest puppy ever, and some other stuff.
maybe it's all of that combined... yeah.
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| just an update. |
[09 May 2006|08:08pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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sleepy. |
] |
| [ |
music |
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puppies. |
] |
good -
i've been spending lots of time with my sister, trisha.
i feel like i'm learning a lot.
i cut my hair.
i dyed my hair.
hermione is the cutest thing ever.
the upcoming baby is going to be just fine. (sister, not me. woah dudes)
i spend lots of time with 9 english bulldog puppies.
school is coming to an end.
i had don's for dinner.
bad -
my car is broken.
i still have no money.
i still have no job.
i half-assed my english paper.
my boyfriend is still an hour and forty minutes away.
my father's actions.
i have to wake up early.
i don't have aim or msn at this time.
my fucking car is broken, yeah that's a repeat but it's really lame.
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| recent stuff. |
[01 May 2006|08:24pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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yeah. |
] |
| [ |
music |
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puppies |
] |
prom - excellent.
the day after prom - very nice.
my friend moving away - lamest thing ever, i missed him so much today. booh.
my boyfriend - freaking fantastic.
my brother's crappy relationship - annoying, depressing.
having 18 days of school left - exciting.
animals - cute, cute, cute.
hermione (specifically) - precious, funny, adorable, lazy, small, insane. i love her.
my dad - FUCK.
i'm hungry.
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[28 Apr 2006|07:30am] |
| People Envy Your Compassion | 
You have a kind heart and an unusual empathy for all living creatures. You tend to absorb others' happiness and pain.
People envy your compassion, and more importantly, the connections it helps you build. And compassionate as you are, you feel for them. |
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[25 Apr 2006|03:44pm] |
i shouldn't update my lj when in a bad mood. my mom should also refrain from speaking to me while i'm in a bad mood. maybe this could've been prevented if a) my entire school weren't fucks b) my step-dad wasn't mildly retarded and c) i were independent.
may 26th couldn't possibly be coming at a slower rate. i need to be able to sleep in. i need to be able to work. and i need to be able to leave at my own will. october also needs to hurry along. i need to be able to buy my own goddamn cigarettes. i have $3 in my back pocket which was loaned to me. i'm real lucky - people still like me although i'm a bitch all day long. i don't get it. i don't like bitches. but, i can't really help it. if kids weren't so stupid i, in turn, would not be so bitchy.
fuck it.
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[21 Apr 2006|03:51pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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laid back - you know the rest. |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
washer. |
] |
the week has come to a closing and i've been excited, depressed, pissed off, and excited again. all in all the week was long but good.
my weekend, on the other hand, is going to rock all kinds of ass. i have zero plans. i like that. i think i forgot how much i like that. i'm going to sit with my favorite person on this planet and probably eat more than what i would like to. but hey, when you're happy - you do that.
i wish everyone a swell weekend and i hope to see amy d. i really like that girl and i think we could have lots of fun together. so, that would be nice. i'm going to try to make that happen. yeah.
so, have a fun and safe weekend duuuudes.
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[18 Apr 2006|09:00pm] |
sigh.
i love my boyfriend.
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| randomness |
[12 Apr 2006|11:50pm] |
- although things are usually a little bit more crazy than stable i've grown accustom to it and i accept it. in fact, i a comfortable with it and i'm scared then when i don't have the hectic tension filled life i may miss it.
- i just finished reading my sister's most recent blog and i'm amazed at how held together she seems, how strong she is. i would be in shambles if i were in her position.
- school is pretty depressing. i hate waking up and most people there make me want to commit suicide. and i wish i would've taken things more seriously. i mean, high school is probably my least favorite thing and i couldn't care less about graduation day but since i am going graduating i wish it weren't such a hassle.
- my neice is a neat little girl. her parents were asked if she could be moved on to third grade instead of preceeding to second next year. that seems weird... like, you can just skip grades? i mean, i know that you can and i know it's been done, a lot, it just seems weird. but, i hung out with my mom and my neice today and had a real good time. we ate taco bell and took pictures playing in the grass.
- my brother is going to be 21 in 3 minutes. crazyness.
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